it happened, and then i cried a little bit

just when i thought i had nothing to blog about, something happened. something monumental. something that is so totally awesome, i had to break my blogging break just to blog about it.

i lost weight again! this makes a total of 14.2 pounds lost since i started taking care of my body/exercising and watching what i eat...two and a half years ago! really, since the six week challenge started this time, i've lost almost ten pounds, but i'm still counting the little i lost initially, because hey, i lost it.

14.2 pounds! are you kidding me??? i hope not, because i've worked too hard for this to be a joke! for serious!

and guess what?

size 10 JEANS, baby! whoop, whoop! rock on!

i couldn't believe it. i could barely believe the 8/10 jogging pants, but they do have spandex even if it is only a tiny percentage and even though i wasn't really stretching them to get them on...but jeans? no spandex. just jeans. and they fit! and i didn't have to lay on the bed to zip them up or anything. :) size 10 may still seem "big" to some people, but this is a HUGE deal for me. HUGE! i'm very curvy, always have been and i have a really big booty. so to me, a size ten or a size eight even is "small". i've never been the body type to wear a size 4. i'm hippy and curvy and i accept that, but i don't accept it at 5'3 in a size 16, which is what i was wearing before i ever started exercising. then i got down to a 14. a tight 14, but a 14. i guess i just skipped size 12 all together, i don't know what happened there. haha i don't feel comfortable to talk about my weight number so openly because i don't know who reads this and my number has always been "bigger" than you would think. i am short, but like i said, very curvy and muscular so i've always weighed more than people probably think i weigh. my goal weight is about 10 pounds more than what those charts say i should weigh on the heavy end. i just know my body and if i could be the top weight on the heavy end, that would be great, but i don't see it happening realistically. we'll see.

right now, i have 3.8 more pounds to reach my first goal! i hope i can do that in the next two weeks. :) then, i'll have 25 pounds more to go. i'm trying to do five pound increments to help me stay motivated.

goodbye 14.2 pounds! i won't miss you at all. in fact, good riddance! goodbye and please never come back again. i'm moving on. i've got better things to do and i'm not going to hang on to ya anymore. :) sorry, i'm just being honest here.

so, yes, i cried. of course. it has just been SUCH.A.STRUGGLE to lose it and i've been working SO HARD. i can not stress enough how hard i have worked and i will share something with you all. i believe that part of my success is that i have been working through a bunch of emotional junk that i haven't wanted to deal with. but, i've dealt with it (on here and not on here) and i'm still dealing with it (hopefully not on here anymore...trying to be a little more private instead of spilling my guts so publically). and i'm getting better. and moving on.

facing forward and moving on! :) and i'm soooo happy!

my sweet friend asked me, why are you not blogging AGAIN? (said sweetly in a very joking tone of course. ;) ) and i said, i don't know how to explain it. i just feel sometimes that i get too personal about my heart, my life - it is so easy for me to type and type and type, never realizing that people sometimes READ IT! and then once the reality of that hits me -that people READ IT! - i feel all embarrassed and strange like i want to crawl into a hole and just die from embarrassment because i've basically just left myself vulnerable by exposing my heart/my feelings/etc. to judgment (even if you aren't judging me, i feel like i'm being judged). i just talk (blog/type/whatever) so much, i feel like i'm standing on a stage and i'm only wearing socks and everyone is just staring at me. and she said, well...i don't feel that way. i feel like you are you and i love who you are. stop being so self conscious. :)

so that's that. i'm here. maybe blogging some, maybe not. feeling a little vulnerable now that i've shared so much of myself over the past year on my other blog, which is part of why i just wanted to get rid of it...plus, i wanted to start fresh. (i am sure that i magnify that vulnerability to some degree because they are MY feelings and my vulnerabilities). makes me want to hide sometimes, which translates into not blogging or being "available" technologically (facebook, twitter, etc.). also, sometimes i blog stuff and then delete it - sorry to those of you on google reader or whatever, that's just what i do once i realize i've probably shared too much. :)

 not sure if that makes sense, but that's the honest answer of why i said i was gonna stop blogging, AGAIN. of course, i think you guys know me well enough to know that i always come back because i love to change my mind sporadically. ;)

anyway...i lost 14.2 pounds!!! AHHH!!!! woooooohooooo!!!!! i am still shocked and just can't believe it! :)

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF for sticking with it and not giving up!!!

what do-hickey do you have to push to get that blurry background look, yo?

**before i begin learning you all about my awesometastic photographic abilities and profound knowledge in this area, let me put forth this disclaimer for all to see, read, and comprehende:

i am no expert in the area of photography. i may say the wrong thing. i may give the wrong information. i may sound like a complete idiot to anyone out there reading this who IS an expert in photography. i am just sharing with you guys bits and pieces of what i've learned over the years. it's not much, but maybe it will help someone and well, i'm just a sweet gal. what can i say? :) basically, i'm just sharing tips that have worked for me. they may not be the "right way" to do things, but they are the way i have done them.

i have a dslr digital camera. that basically means that it is a digital camera that you can change the lense on. also, sidebar: i have no idea if it is proper to type lense or lens, i type lense because i read it that way more often. it could be one of those words like shop or shoppe, colorful or colourful. tomato or tomahto.  potato or potahto. whatever...do what you dig. my camera is a canon 40d, so i will refer to the settings on that camera. i think you should still be able to follow along with me regardless of what brand of camera you have. also, i highly recommend reading "understanding exposure" by bryan peterson. after reading his book (several times mind you) i got the courage to start shooting in manual mode. now i shoot in full manual, pretty much all the time. it was so intimidating to me at first, but now it is just second nature. if i can do it, you can do it!

okie dokie. let's get this show on the road, shall we?

one of the most asked questions i've had is this: how do you make the background of your photo blurry, but the person (people) in focus? i want a blurry background, jules. how do you do it?

here is an example of that. i am using my friend, april, as my model. (1) because she's stunningly beautiful, (2) because i love her pregnant belly in this photo, even though she gave birth a while back and (3) because i'm in a hurry and didn't have time to ask someone if i can use them. i'm assuming april doesn't mind me using her. if she does, well, she can just take me off of her email list! (inside joke) haha

see how the leaves on the trees are "blurry"? in photography speak, that is sometimes called "bokah". i haven't looked up the roots of that word, so i couldn't tell you where it comes from or what it means. i'm just passing along the slang.  i'm here to inform, people. i'm here to inform. to informitate. and to make up deviations of words that make no sense. yes, this is my purpose.

well, i wish i could tell you that there is just a do-hickey that you push and that takes care of all that bokah fabulousness, but first we need to start with the basics. three things that i like to refer to as "the photographic triangle". (1) because i like to make air quotation marks when i talk, (2) because it makes me feel all intelligent and stuff to use multi-syllable words and (3) because i think i read it in a book somewhere, so i just kept calling it that. also, i sometimes use an announcer voice in my head when i think it and that makes it lots of fun. try it. you won't be disappointed. or maybe you will. to each his own...

the first part of "the photographic triangle" is ISO. this is like your film speed in a digital camera. basically you would buy a higher film speed for action shots and a lower film speed for portraits, etc. the same with ISO.

the second part of "the photographic triangle" (sometimes i like to put an echo in there too....just sayin) is shutter speed. this is how quickly your shutter closes when you take a photo. i hardly ever shoot with a shutter speed below 100...sometimes 80 if I have to because it makes the photo too blurry with camera shake, etc. if you have a tripod, you can use a lower shutter speed and maybe be okay.

the third part of "the photographic triangle" is aperature. say who? yes, aperature. this refers to how wide open your lens is when you take a photo. basically, how much light your lense is letting in to the camera. aperatures can go down to 1.2 and all the way up to 22 or something. maybe more, i don't know...i have never had the need to shoot at a high numbered aperature. let me put it to you in julie terms, which may be too elementary for you dear, wise readers, but since i'm julie, julie terms are the only way i can explain it. imagine a sink. it is round and gets narrower as it goes toward the drain. are you following me? when you are near the top of the sink and the opening is larger, your aperature number is smaller. so you are letting in the most light. when you are at the bottom of the sink and the opening is smaller, your aperature number is higher. so you are letting in less light.

let's recap that aperature thing. large opening allows in more light - small number. small opening allows in less light - large number. it is confusing at first because it seems backwards. it did for me anyway.

basically these three elements all work together to get an exposure (a photo). once you understand the basics of these three things, you can start applying them to your photographic situation for your optimal photo. the little green box on your camera is great, but your camera is capable of so much more! and you can do it!! love your camera, people. take it out for a date outside the little green box every now and then. :) it will love you forever if you do that! trust me, your camera gets bored with the little green box. you don't have to jump straight in to manual mode (M). you can start with smaller dates, like AV mode and portrait mode and all the other modes. then, when you are good and ready to settle down, you can take the leap into manual mode. by then, you'll be in it for life! ;)

okay...so back to the blurry background, in focus person/people question. one thing you can do is set your camera for portrait mode. this is usually signified by a person's face or profile on your dial that has the little green box. move that dial over to the person profile and try taking a photo with that setting on a test subject and see if you are getting your desired results. this is good and quick, but you can make your camera do better!  another thing you can do is set your camera for aperature priority mode (on canons this is signified by AV, i think it is different on nikons, but i'm not sure because i don't have a nikon.) so turn your dial to AV and then turn your other dial to the lowest aperature that your lense will allow. if you have a kit lense that came with your camera, this is probably an aperature of 5.6 or something. you will have to read your manual and see how to do this, i will explain here how to do it on the 40d.

turn your main dial to AV. this is the dial on the top left hand side of your camera. notice on the on/off switch(on the back of your camera) there is a line at the top (line on off)...put your switch to that line. now turn the dial that is on the top right hand side (just a small black dial) and you will see your aperature number start changing in that screen that is up by that small black dial. turn the dial until you get the lowest number that your lense will allow. like i said, if you are using a kit lense, this number may be 5.6 or something.  now go take a photo of something and see if you are getting the results you want.

i don't ever use my kit lense anymore. i mainly use my 50mm 1.8 lense. this means that my aperature can go all the way down to 1.8 (so the opening is going to be really big inside my camera for that low number). this is an inexpensive lense and worth the money. i think it was around $50 or $60 and i use it all the time. there is a more expensive 50mm lense out there with an aperature of 1.2 i think, but it is pretty spendy (like $1000 or something?) so i just stick with my cheapy 1.8 lense. :)

basically, the lower your aperature (the more light that is coming in to the camera), less of your photo will be in focus (more of the photo will be blurry). the higher your aperature (the less light that is coming into your camera), more of your photo will be in focus (less of the photo will be blurry).

now, if the light is nice outside ( a sunshiney day, etc.) putting it on AV mode and dialing your aperature down may do the job you want. but, it may not. there are those other two pesky parts of "the photographic triangle" that we have to think about too...but more on that later.

now, a word from our sponsor:

hi, my name is julie, but you can call me cheater cheater pumpkin eater because today i ate a medium serving of tator tots from sonic, a bag of reese's pieces, some chips and salsa (although the chips were multigrain...okay why am i defending the chips, they are still CHIPS!) and a diet coke. i haven't gone to the gym today because i haven't had time and now i feel like poo. i shall persevere though and tomorrow shall be a new day filled with vegetables and water and no sugar (but gosh those reese's pieces were yummy). tomorrow i shall be fabulous and good and will not stray from my diet. oh yes, tomorrow will be perfect! today i am struggling to keep myself from going downstairs and eating a rice krispy treat though. ;)

how to love your camera

hello.

my name is julie.

(hi julie)

i love my camera. i mean, i LOVE my camera.

see?

and i want to teach you all how to love your camera too. :)

loving your camera is about so much more than giving it a kiss every now and then. which i totally do. because i love it. i think my camera appreciates my affections. truly.

i don't know much about photography, but i've learned A LOT over the past few years and i get questions from you guys sometimes about it. since i'm not "doing" photography, i would still like to share what i know - which isn't a whole lot, so don't get your hopes up. most of my knowledge has come from trial and error, but if i can help someone who is interested in photography (and maybe save them an afternoon of frustration in the process), i would love to help! so get those cameras out and dust them off! you can do it! trust me. if i can learn how to use all those buttons and whistles, anyone can!

stay tuned...

and a little inspiration for your monday morning

it's your life...whatcha' gonna do? :)

i'm gonna be happy!

one word

my sweet friend, Michelle, tagged me and i thought i would play along...

**The Rules~ Use only one word, pass along to six favorite bloggers, and tell them you did so.


1. Where is your cell phone? desk

2. Your hair? wet

3. Your mother? wanted

4. Your father? loved

5. Your favorite food? bread

6. Your dream last night? tornado

7. Your favorite drink? coffee

8. Your dream/goal? encourager

9. What room are you in? art

10. Your hobby? crafts

11. Your fear? rejection

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? loved

13. Where were you last night? home

14. Something that you aren’t? finished

15. Muffins? blueberry

16. Wish list item? rug

17. Where did you grow up? Oklahoma

18. Last thing you did? run

19. What are you wearing? comfies

20. Your TV? off

21. Your pets? fat

22. Friends? beautiful

23. Your life? happy

24. Your mood? exuberant

25. Missing someone? yes

26. Vehicle? spoiled

27. Something you’re not wearing? socks

28. Your favorite store? TJ Maxx

29. Your favorite color? green

30. When was the last time you laughed? lunch

31. Last time you cried? Thursday

32. Your best friend? jsj

33. One place that I go to over and over? Target

34. One person who emails me regularly? flylady

35. Favorite place to eat? panera

So now it's your turn!
 
i read lots of blogs, so it is hard to pick six, but i'll pick kristina, erin, courtney, mischelle, april and lexie. get after it, girlies!

can someone please save this dog?

we can't stop smothering him with hugs and kisses. he doesn't seem very amused though. :)

somebody stop me...okay, maybe don't

i'm cleaning out the art room today. and i mean, CLEANING IT OUT! stuff is flying everywhere. i'm not stopping until i am rid of all this crap. seriously! i can't take it anymore. it is just cluttering up everything. when is the last time i used most of it anyway? ugh...i can't stand this room anymore. i've had enough.

i'm going on a weekend with my girlfriends next weekend and i'm taking a huge box of all this junk and they can have it if they want. if not, i'm throwing it over the cliff. i'm not kidding. :)

i've cleaned out jb's room. we do this twice a year and she did GREAT this time. i have two huge bags of toys to take to goodwill and a HUGE bag of clothes to take. i always feel so good to take my stuff somewhere that someone else can use it. her room is manageable now. this room is the only room left. i'm tired of it just being "okay". i am ready for it to be clutter free and for my mind to be able to create in this room, which is what it is for. i'm sure it will get messy again, but i have to get rid of most of it. i have been hanging on to it for too long.

i'm purging! it feels great! i'm tired of holding on to this junk. tired of it....i'm being horribly mean this time. i've been horribly mean before, but not like this. i have already put three garbage bags in the trashcans. and i'm not done yet.
wish me luck!